the rain that fell late noon had stopped some minutes ago. tropical rain, I can still feel the heat despite the downpour. it is my fourth day in this small childhood town.
emptiness.
when most of the people that you grow up with are no longer in town, that feeling of contentment is no longer there. though I am grateful enough to have some of them with me.
. . .
I woke up today, with the thought of someone I miss. I miss it, as much as I miss the warm feeling it brings together with the smile.
it has my heart. and if asked, is this person special, I'd say yes.
. . .
trying to get used to the Malaysian sleeping time.
somewhat annoys me to be waking up at 2.30 am and having a hard time to get back to sleep.
and oh. had mangosteen after a year.
it is one of Allah's best creation :)
. . .
I had a chat with a lovely friend of mine a week before I went back regarding something that had been my dilemma since the past few months. she told me about her intention as well as her experience in making that intention a reality, and how she faced comments from others that somehow demotivated her from continuing. towards the end of our conversation, I had reached a conclusion that I am not yet ready for that kind of transformation, as it is physical, and I had doubt myself that I am able to reach that state of istiqamah.
I am aware of the verses in the Quran that stresses on this issue, for instance surah an-Nur, whereby it also emphasizes on other aspects to be a good Muslim, such as to lower the gazes, to guard the private parts and to repent to Allah. in the teachings of Islam, the followers are urged to have good moral values besides adhering to the do's and don'ts of the religion.
I firmly believe that changes should not be drastic, but it should be a continuous process. and in order to be a better believer, a better practitioner, there are other aspects that I need to improve within myself before going back to the old dilemma.
just a humble thought. you don't have to agree with me.
. . .
0 comments:
Post a Comment